The FIFO Father’s Guilt

Let’s call it what it is—being a FIFO dad fucks with your head.

You’re busting your arse 12 hours a day, living out of a donga, missing birthdays, footy games, school assemblies, first steps. All while some part of you is screaming, “I should be there. I’m missing everything.”
That’s dad guilt. And for FIFO blokes, it hits different.

The Silent Weight Most FIFO Dads Carry

You’re not a bad father for doing what you’ve got to do. You’re providing. You’re building a future.
But here’s the kicker—your kids don’t always understand that. All they know is dad's not there. And that eats at you.

Research backs it up: FIFO workers report significantly higher levels of guilt, emotional fatigue, and loneliness compared to the average worker. A 2021 study by Beyond Blue found that FIFO workers were 33% more likely to experience moderate to severe depressive symptoms—and family separation was one of the top stressors.

So no, you're not imagining it. This mental load is real.

What FIFO Guilt Looks Like

• Calling home and hearing your kid say, “Why aren’t you here?”

• Sitting alone in your room with a beer, scrolling through photos of your family.

• Overcompensating when you're back—buying shit, cramming in activities, trying to be Superdad in 7 days.

You start questioning your worth as a parent, even when you're doing everything you can.
The sad truth? A lot of FIFO dads keep that guilt buried. They don’t talk about it. They just cope—usually with alcohol, porn, overworking, or zoning out completely. It’s not sustainable. It’ll break you eventually.

So What Can You Do?

This isn’t a “just be more present” fluff piece. That doesn’t work when you're 1,500km away and covered in red dust.
Here’s what does help:

1. Set a Routine with Your Kids—Even from Afar

A five-minute video call every night. A text before school. A voice message.
Small things, done consistently, prove you're there emotionally, even when you're not physically.

Consistency matters more than grand gestures.

2. Don’t Be a Ghost on Swing

It’s easy to switch off completely when you’re away. But that disconnection becomes a habit. And the more disconnected you are, the heavier the guilt gets.
Stay involved. Ask about homework. Celebrate little wins. Let them see your effort.

3. Speak Openly with Your Partner (If You’ve Got One)

The guilt doesn’t just affect you—it strains relationships. If you bottle it up, it festers.
Talk about how you're feeling, even if it’s uncomfortable. Real communication helps your partner understand what you’re dealing with and how to support each other better.

4. Stop Thinking You Have to Be a “Perfect Dad”

There’s no such thing. What your kids need is a dad who gives a damn and keeps showing up, in whatever way he can.
You won’t get it right every time. That’s not failure—it’s fatherhood.

Final Thought: You’re Doing More Than You Think

You’re working a job most people couldn’t handle. You’re sacrificing time with your family to give them a better life.
That guilt? It’s a sign you care. But don’t let it drown you.

Start talking. Start showing up, even in small ways. You’re still their dad—1,500km or not.

Support services for depression in Australia include: 

• Lifeline: Provides 24-hour crisis counseling, support groups, and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14, text 0477 13 11 14, or chat online.
  
• Suicide Call Back Service: Offers 24/7 support for those feeling suicidal. Call 1300 659 467.
  
  
• PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): Call 1300 726 306.
  
  
• ForWhen: Call 1300 24 23 22 (Monday to Friday, 9.00am to 4.30pm).
  
  
• Gidget Foundation: Provides online and telehealth support. Call 1300 851 758.
  
  
• Beyond Blue: Call 1300 22 4636.